Monday 26 May 2014

Excuse the language


DECIDE WHAT IT IS YOU WANT.
WRITE THAT SHIT DOWN
MAKE A FUCKING PLAN.
AND.....
WORK ON IT.
EVERY.
SINGLE.
DAY.


Sunday 25 May 2014

BEING FAMOUS ON INSTAGRAM IS BASICALLY THE SAME THING AS BEING RICH IN MONOPOLY.

Saturday 24 May 2014

Saturday 17 May 2014

35 Ways British Men Can Address Each Other Defined




“Sir” – The speaker is required by the terms of his contract to pretend it is a pleasure doing business with you.
“Mate” (1) – Is the speaker your actual mate? If so, this is a bit formal. He may be about to give you bad news.
“Mate” (2) – Is the speaker a stranger? You are about to be hit.
“Chum” – You are about to be hit by a UKIP voter.
“Old boy” – A UKIP voter is about to ask you to do something.
“Chap” – A media executive is about to ask you to do something which you will be required to find charming.
“Squire” – You are about to be cheerfully overcharged by 100%.
“Boss” – The speaker will tolerate nothing less than immediate payment for the service he is happy to be carrying out for you.
“Chief” — Like “Boss”, plus the implication that the speaker is a man of sudden, extreme violence.
“Skipper” – Like “Chief”, plus the implication that the speaker has a car boot full of stolen goods at very reasonable prices.
“Guv” – The speaker defers to you in all things, so whatever comes next is really your idea (eg sexist joke, institutional racism, systemic fraud).
“My friend” (said in a foreign accent) – You are perfectly safe in this minicab.
“My friend” (said in an English accent) – You have been identified as a dangerous outsider and are being watched.
“Buddy” – The speaker wants to borrow something he will never return (eg wrap of cocaine, credit for your last fortnight’s work).
“Fella” — You’d better like football and tits or this is going to end badly.
“Guy” – You’d better be interested in house prices or this is going to end badly.
“Geezer” – The speaker will tolerate nothing but top bantz from now until the pub closes.
“Pal” – The speaker has one fist clenched to hit you but, worried you might hit back, reserves the right to pretend it’s the 1930s and everything’s fine.
“Brother” – The speaker is stoned or drunk to the point of helpless amity. You are in no danger.
“Bruv” – The speaker is stoned or drunk but may turn at any minute. Keep your wits about you.
“Son” – The speaker is about to give you advice which you both know you’ll ignore.
“Lad” – The speaker considers you and his sheepdog loyal friends.
“Bro” – Are you sure you’re in Britain? We don’t really use that word… wait a minute, does the speaker have red trousers and majestic hair? Ah, he just came from Eton. What he means is ‘chum’.
“Homie” – Like “Bro”, except the speaker left Eton in the ’90s and now drives a Mercedes S-class.
“Darling” – The speaker went to RADA. Don’t expect to get a word in edgeways.
“Blud” – The speaker wishes you to know he’s got your back in a gun or knife fight. Most commonly said into mobile phones while standing in queues for chocolate milk.
“Cuz” – The speaker will be round your house this weekend to take gangsta selfies and watch Britain’s Got Talent.
“Man” – The speaker feels a fuzzy companionship with you as a human being, even if you are currently arresting him.
“Dude” – The speaker would rather pretend it’s California than risk choosing the wrong mode of address.
Your surname – The speaker learnt personal relations in public school, army or police. You’d better do what he says.
Your surname with a Y on the end – The speaker holds you in genuine regard and will gladly hold your pint while you have a slash in a hedge.
Your first name if it has more than one syllable – The speaker does not yet know you well enough to shorten your name or assign a new one.
Your first name with an O on the end – Your deep and lasting friendship with the speaker depends on neither of you ever doing anything gay.
“You daft twat” – The speaker has no secrets from you, loves you like a brother and at some point tonight will awkwardly man-hug you.
“You c***” – Hard to call. Pretty neutral language; a bit over-familiar, maybe. You’re probably fine.

Thursday 15 May 2014

Feature in GQ (UK), Udeshi's dream factory


Rain, rain, come back another day



We have been asked so many times if we sell umbrellas (usually when the skies have just opened up) that we decided that we should answer that question with an affirmative “Yes!”
Handmade for us in Croydon by Fox Umbrellas who know a thing or two about umbrellas, ever since Mr Thomas Fox opened a shop making and selling umbrellas in the City of London in 1868. 
Our umbrellas are hand crafted with a couple of exclusive touches; visible and invisible. A red nylon rosette inside the umbrella absorbs excess moisture and prevents water running down the shaft that could make the handle wet. 

The outside elastic that holds the umbrella together is in our signature red and is closed with one of our mother of pearl buttons from our shirts – an easy way of identifying one’s umbrella when they are closed, one won’t get someone else’s umbrella at 5HS.

Today, the process of making a Fox umbrella has changed very little and still relies on the skill and attention to detail of its workers, rather than on machines.
A selection of handles in different shades and grains of wood, complements the bright palette of colours in which our umbrellas are available. 
Our umbrellas are also available made-to-order, in a choice of 484 different combinations.   





Wednesday 14 May 2014

Baby Alpaca

Brighten up your spring wardrobe with our baby alpaca shawls from the Peruvian Andes. The latest addition to our collection is made from the first shearing of alpaca. Available in a bright palette of colours, the fineness of the fibre (22.5 microns) results in extremely soft and lightweight scarves; comparable to cashmere.

It is a very strong and elastic fibre which gives a resistant yarn and therefore makes durable garments. Also, when compared to other noble fibres, baby alpaca is less prone to pilling and felting, giving our shawls a long life. 
Alpaca is free of lanolin (the natural oily substance found in wool) and therefore does not trap dust and doesn’t cause allergic skin reactions. Spring showers are not a problem as baby alpaca is also water-repellant. Available in store from £105 (inclusive of VAT).








Friday 2 May 2014

Lord Brett Sinclair, BS1

"The Persuaders" Lord Brett Sinclair's Aston Martin DBS is for sale at Bonhams at the Aston Martin Works sale on the 17th of May at Newport Pagnell.

This famous Aston Martin DBS was manufactured in the spring of 1970, complete with special modifications specifically for its intended role in the British television series'The Persuaders!' in which it featured prominently in almost all of the 24 one-hour episodes, driven by Roger Moore. Moore had previously starred as the eponymous hero in the television adventure series 'The Saint', which had been produced by Robert S Baker, and was the latter's choice to play the role of Lord Brett Sinclair in 'The Persuaders!' Baker invited Aston Martin to provide a car for Moore in the new television series, in which he would co-star with Hollywood legend Tony Curtis, playing the part of Danny Wilde. Wealthy playboys, the Englishman Sinclair and American Wilde were brought together by retired Judge Fulton (played by Laurence Naismith) to fight crime and corruption. Although 'chalk-and-cheese' opposites, the men became great friends and constantly risked their lives for one another. 'The Persuaders!' was destined to be the most expensive television series filmed to date, using various glamorous locations around Europe. 

Moore had expressed an interest in the Aston Martin DBS, which he felt would be ideally suited to the character of Lord Brett Sinclair. Curtis's character Danny Wilde was to drive a Ferrari (which proved to be a Dino 246GT) and the cars were always intended to be an important element of the new show and indeed central to much of the action. Naturally, Aston Martin were eager to provide a car for Roger Moore and even arranged for one of their mechanics to be present throughout the production to make sure the DBS was always at its best. 

It made sense to provide their latest model, the recently unveiled DBS V8, in order to gain maximum benefit from the planned television exposure. However, production of the new V8-engined DBS was not yet in full swing and it proved impossible to provide one in time for the start of filming. The decision was made to provide a standard six-cylinder DBS but to build the car as a DBS V8 in all visual respects, as if 'wearing makeup' for its starring role. A standard DBS (chassis number '5636') was nearing completion on the Newport Pagnell production line in the rare colour of Bahama Yellow and seemed an ideal candidate for the role. The modifications were limited to V8-type hubs and wheels (15" GKN alloys) and V8 badging. 

Filming commenced with the DBS featuring in a memorable race against Tony Curtis's Ferrari Dino from Nice Airport to the Hotel de Paris in Monaco. Later episodes were filmed in locations such as Rome, Paris and London. Estimate is £350,000 to £550,000 in case you are interested.